Goa

Want to get away, and live in a palce where nobody finds me, nobody knows about me and what I do. Want to find that place where I can be me, I can come out of my shell and start making me, myself, my thoughts, my decissions, my steps... I never thought that place was so hard to find, so difficult to understand it's located. So here I am, looking desperatly for it, not knowing how to, with who, when, what to look for...

I know what I want, I know where to go, how to feel, but I'm afraid of it, so afraid that I dont know how to lay it out, how to make it happen, how to find that place where I want to rest and stay in. Opportunities, many opportunities, but looks like I want to waste them, and go to the easy way out. Not knowing it's what frustrates my being, and clouds my mind from thinking objectively instead of emotionally.

I dont know what to do, but I do know what I want... what do I have? An explossive device waiting to be deactivated but eager to go off at any moment... how to approach it? I JUST DONT KNOW........ I just dont know, or is it that

I dont want to know?????